Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
by ice-woman
Summary: CHAPTER TWO UP! Perhaps a one shot...a little insight into the changing relationship between Sawyer and Juliet with the arrival of Kate and Jack. Takes place during The Variable.
1. Mistrusting

Takes place towards the end of _The Variable_, while Sawyer and Juliet are preparing to leave and head back to the beach. Let's pretend that Sawyer and Juliet received, oh, say, ten more minutes to pack before they were so rudely interrupted.

This is just merely Sawyer and Juliet reflecting on their respective situations with Jack, Kate, and each other. Honestly, there's no declarative pairing, but I hope you get the subtle undertone of Sawyer/Kate.

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Sawyer turned to Juliet roughly. "You still got my back?"

Juliet's jaw stiffened. "You still got mine?" She turned away, shoving a handful of shirts into her bag.

Sawyer caught himself in between walking over to her and turning away. The old Sawyer, the Sawyer he had been before this island, he would have turned away. But, with Juliet, he was different. He was respected and revered. He was a man of decency, a man worthy of honor. He'd never known that feeling before.

But, as he stopped himself from walking over to Juliet, a simple gesture that he'd fallen in sync with so easily over the past three years, he realized that he wasn't her Sawyer anymore. Everything had changed, and whether they liked it or not, they had to scramble to save their lives before they could worry about saving their relationship, that is, if there was anything left to salvage.

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Juliet seemed acutely aware of his actions, his second-guessing. She was damn instinctive in that sense. She'd come to know him over the past few years. She was familiar with his defense-mechanisms, with his mannerisms. Any day before Jack and the others had arrived back on the island, he wouldn't have hesitated to come over and comfort her. He wouldn't have faltered.

She paused. _Jack and the others_...she'd realized that she'd always referred to Jack first. She wondered if Sawyer did the same thing...referring to Kate first. She didn't wonder for very long. She was sure he did.

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"Things are gonna be different," Sawyer muttered, very much aware that his sad attempt to summarize the subtle differences in their relationship was lackluster at best.

Juliet leaned back, arms pressed firmly against the window frame. "Of course they are," she said firmly, never flinching.

This was one of the things Sawyer had grown to love about her, her toughness. She was unusually cool, always collected and level-headed, never a slave to her emotions. Now, he appreciated her icy attitude more than ever. An emotional explosion was not something he was prepared for.

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"What do you think he'll do?" Juliet asked, changing the subject. She zipped her bag tightly, tossing it on top of the bed.

Sawyer looked up, jarred from his thoughts. "Who, Daniel?" He shrugged, shaking his head slowly. "The kid's a whack job."

"Maybe," Juliet agreed slowly. "But what if he's right? What if he can get us back to where we belong?"

Sawyer's eyes darkened, his voice gruff. "Juliet, there ain't one of us going through this nightmare who has a damn clue where we belong."

Juliet stood deathly still, as always, her wide eyes soaking in all of Sawyer's words. _That's what I'm afraid of_, she said silently.

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They waited in the bedroom longer than they should have. Sawyer knew they were running out of time. He knew it would be moments before they were discovered. They had to hurry.

He turned around, glancing at Juliet who sat steadily on the bed, just scanning the room. It was hard for her to leave this, he knew that. It was hard for him too. They might never be happy together again. It wasn't an easy thing to give up, happiness. But they had no other option.

"You called her Freckles," Juliet said, her voice unrelenting and steady. Her eyes flashed up at Sawyer's.

Sawxyer halted from his attempt to leave the room, inching around slowly. "I _always_ call her Freckles," he said. It wasn't a defense. It was the damn truth.

Juliet nodded. "That's what worries me," she said slowly, before standing up to join him.

Whatever happened next, Juliet knew their good luck had run out. She knew that from here on out, there would be no rules, no structure, no sense of justice. Everything from this moment on was out of her control. She didn't like when life was out of her hands.

She caught a click glimpse of herself in the mirror, a wild, savage look in her eyes; a look that reminded her of Sawyer. It looked foreign in her reflection.

Juliet was many things, but unfair was not one of them. She knew this situation was hard all around, for her, for Sawyer, for Jack, for Kate. She knew ultimately, the decision would come down to who each one loved the most. She just feared no two would pick alike. Her worse fear at the moment was Sawyer not picking her.

The thought of Jack not choosing her stabbed at her chest as well.

She heaved her bag off of the bed, catching Sawyer's eye, finally aware that they both felt the same way, _torn_.

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I may continue this through Jack/Kate's perspective, and maybe go farther and do different things as the episodes continue. Let me know what you think...and sorry, I'm very in character, I don't go o/c often, so unless the writers end this tension quickly, this will be pretty long and drawn out.

Reviews make me smile.


	2. Questioning

Takes place during _Follow the Leader_ right after Kate leaves Jack.

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Kate stopped trudging through the jungle after a mere two minutes, allowing Jack to catch up with her. She paused, eerily certain that she was alone. She turned around, shifting her weight from one hip to the other, straining her eyes to see behind her.

There was nothing but nature.

Jack wasn't coming after her. He wasn't even going to try to reason with her to see things his way. He wasn't coming at all.

She marched onward, wondering if she was doing the right thing.

Jack wanted to stop the plane crash from ever happening. But what would that mean for her? For everyone?

She'd be in jail. That was certain. She knew this thought should be the one tugging at her, but it was the one farthest from her mind. She thought of Aaron. Where would he be? Hadn't Claire wanted to give him up for adoption? If Claire never had landed on the island, Aaron would have been born to no one. He could live for years in an orphanage, convinced that no one loved him. The thought jerked at Kate's heart, causing her eyes to water. She knew Aaron wasn't hers. She knew if Claire was alive, she'd have to surrender him. She would. It would hurt like hell, but she would. But if Jack got his way, none of it would matter. Aaron wouldn't matter.

Then there was Charlie to think about. What of him? He'd be alive, which was good in hindsight. But he'd also still be an addict, with no Claire or Aaron to tear him away from his addiction. He'd most likely become nothing more than a washed up has been. Kate shook her head. That was no way for Charlie to go down. He'd died, yes, but he'd died a hero, the way he would have wanted it. He died for Claire and Aaron, for a higher purpose. And now, Jack wanted to rip that away from him. But for what?

She forced herself to inhale deeply, willing her pulse to steady. She'd get nowhere from being emotional. She needed to convince Juliet and Sawyer to help her and the only way they'd be swayed to do so would be if she exhibited no emotion. Sawyer seemed ready to burst whenever around her, an anger she couldn't recognize. What the hell had she done to him, anyway? Juliet's edginess was understandable, of course if she knew how harsh Sawyer was around her, Juliet probably would have been much nicer to her. Still, Kate wasn't much worried about Juliet. It was Sawyer she had to persuade.

Halfway to the camp she realized what she'd been debating all along. She was ready to fight against Jack, to combat his rationale, to attack him. He was willing to erase everything; all of their friends, their successes, _her_. He didn't give a damn about her. What stung most was the fact that this realization didn't bother her as much as it ought to. If he wanted to erase her from his memory, well she was just fine with that. He wasn't the same man she'd fallen in love with all of those years ago. He'd changed, and not to her liking. They hardly recognized each other anymore. They were strangers in thick skins, their only connection existing in the past, a connection he was ready to sever forever.

If Sawyer wouldn't listen to her, she knew how to sway Juliet to side with her. If Jack succeeded, then that meant that Juliet would have never met Sawyer. They would have never fallen in love. They'd never so much as glance at one another. That reasoning would reach Juliet. She'd convince Sawyer to listen to Kate, if only to save their relationship.

The whole plan was so damn ironic, it made Kate sick. She had to pretend to be looking out for Juliet. She had to waltz up to them, plaster a pretty little smile on her dirty face, and lie through her teeth. She needed Juliet to believe her, because Sawyer knew her to well. He'd smell her fib from a mile away and he'd believe Kate cooked up some crazy scheme to win him back. He'd doubt her, because he knew her and what she was capable of. He'd be reluctant.

But, if Sawyer loved Juliet as much as he claimed to, he'd eventually come around to Kate's logic. He'd understand that he'd have to help her stop Jack. And he would either succeed or die trying.

Kate swallowed bitterly. She'd spent three damn years trying to rid herself of his memory, of his face, of his smell. Three damn years and the entire time, he'd been playing house with Juliet, eager to forget Kate, not even considering that she might be out there thinking of him.

If it hadn't been for Aaron, she would have been on the first plane back to the island. She knew that innately. But she had a responsibility to Claire and even to Jack. She couldn't disappear. She couldn't risk her life. She thought Sawyer would have understood that.

Apparently, he understood all too well. In fact, he seemed irritated that she'd come back at all. Like she should have thought better. Like she should have predicted he'd fall in love with someone else. Like she should have lived with the guilt.

They spotted her before she spotted them. They tied her wrists and someone clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Get her to the sub," one of them beckoned, and she felt her legs following mechanically behind the man pulling her. Her eyes flittered back and forth, looking for any signs of Sawyer or Juliet.

Nothing.

They pushed her onto the top of the sub. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, _forgetting. _Maybe it would be the best thing after all. Perhaps Jack was right. Forgetting Sawyer might be worth it after all.

Aaron.

His bright face flashed before her eyes and she was ashamed of the selfish thoughts. She was a terrible mother. She fought back tears, more determined than ever to stop Jack.

Her first vision as she plunged down the ladder was of blonde hair. Everywhere. Just like Barbie and Ken. Her stomach flip-flopped. It was now or never.

"Hi," she said meekly.

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Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! Sorry it took so long! There's definitely more to come, but I need to see the next episode before I can write more. Reviews are love!


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